Rewards do not have to be part of a behaviour modification technique. Rewards can be used to express approval for certain behaviours or actions. Rewards are positive responses to positive behaviours and they don’t have to be tangible or concrete actions. Like praise, some parents may not think about rewards as a discipline technique
Some examples of rewards include, but are not limited to:
Tangible rewards may be what comes to mind when we hear the term reward. A tangible reward may be money or a toy. Rewards need to be small. They are “gestures” of approval. Children should not get expensive gifts, or large sums of money as a reward. Nor should children always get tangible rewards. You do not want to promote the sense that a child needs to be good in order to receive gifts. In fact, most tangible rewards have their greatest value in the praise that accompanies them.
Privileges are rewards that allow a child to experience greater freedom or opportunity. Privileges might involve extending bedtime, giving extra play time, or allowing a child to borrow or sue a valued object. They are most effective when they are connected to the behaviour being recognized.
Increasing responsibility is similar to granting privileges. To reward children for keeping their room picked up, you may increasingly give them total responsibility for the care and cleaning of their room. While this involves work for them, it also says, “You are able to do this on your own. You do not need me coming in your room.”
Supporting interests and talents acknowledges the child’s efforts in pursing interests. It is important that you reward the child for interest, desire, ad effort. Be clear that the behaviour you are rewarding is the child’s interest, participation, and efforts, not the child’s performance, talent, or ability.
Consequences
Sometimes the best form of discipline is to let the child experience the consequences of his or her action. What happens if you fail to put gas in your car? Are you likely to forget to put gas in again? Experience really is the best teacher.
Natural and logical consequences are effective ways to intervene while maintaining respect for the child’s ability to make decisions. Consequences rely to some degree on the natural order of life itself to teach lessons about the world. In some instances you might have to arrange for a consequence to happen.
Natural consequences are things that happen in response to a behaviour. No one has to make these things happen. They are often the result of the “rules of nature”. For example when a child does not eat his dinner, he will get very hungry before he goes to bed. Sometimes a natural consequence is the result of human nature. The child who hits his friends will lose playmates.
A disadvantage of relying on natural consequences is that sometimes they take a long time to work. Also, young children may have difficulty understanding them. Some natural consequences are not desirable.
Logical consequences require that the parent impose a consequence for a given behaviour. The consequence connects to the behaviour that is not acceptable. For example, If the child leaves the bike out, the parent restricts bike riding the next day.
In order for consequences to be effective you must use them correctly.
Be sure to provide choices and allow the child to make the decision. For example, you may turn down the volume of your radio, or listen to it in your room without disturbing others.”
Be calm and firm in your efforts
Make sure the consequence holds meaning for the child.
Be patient and don’t jump in and “save” the child. It may be hard for you to watch the child experience the consequences. But this is necessary for the child to develop good self-control.
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